WHIZZINATOR

Palisade, CO (SafeCITY) - Chad Thomas, a 34-year-old Colorado man was arrested Tuesday after he attempted to use a Whizzinator device during a random drug screen test - and then tried to bribe the state worker who caught him.

According to police, Thomas was on parole when he attempted to defeat a random drug screen using a Whizzinator device. He then allegedly tried to bribe the caseworker after he had been caught.

Investigators say a caseworker because suspicious of Thomas after he tried to block the worker's view as he provided a urine sample.

When the worker asked Thomas to raise his shirt and lower his pants, the worker discovered he had worn a Whizzinator device to the facility in an apparent attempt to provide a clean urine sample as opposed to his own.

The "Whizzinator" is a device that is worn under the clothes - providing a fake penis and a bag that is used to store a clean urine sample. The user then submits the sample out of the bag instead of urinating his/her own sample into a cup.

When Thomas was discovered to be wearing a Whizzinator device, he allegedly offered the case worker $300 to throw the Whizzinator away - however the caseworker refused. Thomas then reportedly offered the case worker $500, which was also refused.

Thomas was on parole after pleading guilty to charges of menacing and criminal mischief back in 2007. He was paroled in March, 2008, qualifying him for random drug tests as a condition of his parole.

He is now residing in the Mesa County Jail on fresh charges of felony bribery and parole violation. Bail in his case has been set at $10,000.

BAD MOM OF 2009

Fredericksburg, VA (SafeCITY) - Tara Dawn Biller, a 30-year-old Virginia woman who was charged with abandoning her 10-year-old daughter after crashing into a ditch earlier this month has outdone herself with new charges.

According to the Spotsylvania County Sheriff's Office, Biller was driving a stolen 2006 Chrysler Sebring when a deputy pulled her over for a traffic violation.

Investigators say the deputy found Biller behind the wheel high on an unknown substance. The deputy also found her in possession of OxyContin, drug paraphernalia and a suspended license.

Biller's infant son was discovered in a child safety seat, however the child was not buckled in.

The vehicle was registered to Biller's boyfriend who reportedly told investigators that he did not know she had taken the vehicle.

Biller was arrested earlier this month after she became intoxicated and then drove her vehicle into a ditch. She fled the scene, leaving her 10-year-old daughter behind.

In that incident she was charged with felony child endangerment, driving while intoxicated, driving on a suspended license and refusing to submit to a breath test.

Biller has been booked into the Rappahannock Regional Jail without bond and is expected to appear in court soon to answer for the charges.

PERSONAL SEX SLAVE

Palm Bay, FL (SafeCITY) – Tony Green, 44, was arrested when authorities uncovered a twisted kidnapping/sex-slave plot that Green intended to act out against a long-time friend

According to Palm Bay police, Green had long planned to lure a friend of many years in to his home and hold her captive as his personal sex slave.

Authorities say Green had had sexual fantasies about the victim for over a year and been organizing the kidnapping for several weeks. The plan was to pose the woman for pictures, and then use them to blackmail her in to sleeping with him once a week – “as a treat.”

According to reports, the man lured the victim inside his home by urging her to look at his cat. Once inside the residence, Green cuffed the woman, telling her, “I gotta have it.” There was a brief struggle before the victim convinced him to let her go.

Upon searching the home, investigators discovered eyebolts in the floor and ceiling of one room, and additionally seized handcuffs, rope, and leather straps as evidence.

Green was booked in to Brevard County jail on charges of kidnapping, attempted sexual battery, and aggravated stalking. Bond was set at $201,000.

PREGNANT WHACKER STRIPPER

Akron, OH (SafeCITY) – Chetania Davis, a 22-year-old pregnant stripper, was sentenced after being charged with felonious assault for whacking another exotic dancer in the face with a stiletto heel.

Court records show that the incident, which occurred at the club the women worked at, may have stemmed from Davis’ provocation of the 52-year-old victim, who was a new dancer at the establishment.

According to reports, Jo Ellen Nolan had just been hired on at Club 1245 after losing her job. Davis’ attorney claims that words were exchanged after his client confronted Nolan for taking too long in the dressing rooms. Police reports claim Davis was angry that another dancer had been hired, consequently diverting money away from her thong and in to the thong of another.

Whoever’s story you believe, the end result was Davis grabbing a stiletto heel and hitting Nolan several times in the face, resulting in multiple head wounds. She was treated at Akron General Hospital, where she received seven staples.

Davis accepted a plea bargain and pleaded guilty to felonious assault. The judge suspended her six month sentence and gave her one year probation, further ordering her to pay $150 in fines and to reimburse Nolan for medical expenses up to $500.

PINK SEX TOY

Treasure Island, FL (SafeCITY) - Kimberly Lynn Calvert, a 45-year-old Florida woman was arrested after assaulting her boyfriend with a pink sex toy. According to treasure Island police, Calvert and her boyfriend became engaged in a dispute which degenerated into a shouting match. Calvert then allegedly began poking her boyfriend in the groin with a pink sex toy. The boyfriend eventually called 911. Calvert was booked into the Pinellas County Jail on a charge of domestic violence. Calvert was also arrested one week ago on a charge of simple battery. Bail in the two cases totalled $600.

NOSE REMOVED

Pinellas County, FL (SafeCITY) Erin Boggus was charged with Aggravated Battery (Domestic).
In a tribute to Michael Jackson, Erin also had her fake nose removed. When I say "Tribute", I really mean she got the s... kicked out of her by her drunken ex-boyfriend. But Erin always finds the silver lining. She will miss you Michael as will all your "Boy" Friends.......

COP FIGHTER - HE LOST!

Stanley Cage was charged with Aggravated Battery on a Law Enforcement Officer, and Battery with a Deadly Weapon.

Stanley could only sit there and wonder how a routine traffic stop led to this. How could an innocent game of "repeat everything the officer says back to him" lead to half of his face getting beat in and a charge for aggravated battery on a law enforcement officer? Cops just don’t have a sense of humor.

Elevator Kicker

Eagleville, Pa. (WeirdCrime) - Richard J. Shevlin, a 22-year-old Eagleville, Pennsylvania man was arrested on in Smyrna, Georgia for getting into a violent altercation with his tormentor, a Comfort Inn hotel elevator.Shevlin has been charged with felony criminal damage after repeatedly kicking the elevator's door and destroying fixtures inside the elevator, according to his arrest report. Shevlin, whom police describe as extremely intoxicated at the time of his arrest, became irate when the elevator to his room became stuck.As hotel staff worked diligently to help him escape, Shevlin allegedly retaliated for the inanimate object's failure by kicking it repeatedly, causing the elevator to slip off its tracks. Smyrna police have also accused him of deliberately damaging several fixtures inside the elevator during the ordeal, causing a total of about $500 in damage. Shevlin was released after posting a $1,000 bond. He has repeatedly declined comment on the charges.

Max Cannon

Founder, SafeCITY Publishing

Publishers of "Local MugSHOTS"

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